Femininity is dying and men are being blamed for it.

I believe men are responsible for their leadership, and what they do directly affects women, children and the whole of society. However, it’s always been interesting to me that feminists proclaim their independence and power but when confronted with feminine failures, they continue to blame men for manipulating and oppressing. It’s no secret, I’m no fan of the feminist movement. Instead of holding the bad men accountable, I believe it tears all men down and harms women. But how can we tangibly fight the degradation of all things femininely beautiful?

Instead of blaming men for every failure, it’s time we take responsibility for our actions and bring back Godly femininity. Holding everyone accountable is not an issue of sex, but of character.

How many times have we asked “Where are the good men?”.

Maybe the question we should be worried about is “Am I a good woman?”.

How can we craft ourselves into feminine women in an age of feminists?

Take responsibility for your health; physically. It is not “body positive” to accept and celebrate obesity and other health issues that can be changed with lifestyle adjustments. I’m not talking about uncontrollable illness or normal weight fluctuations. I’m talking about willfully lazy and negligent choices. We know what those things are for ourselves, and we need to be honest about them.
Take responsibility for your health; mentally. Mental illness is not a personality trait that makes a person more interesting. Panic attacks are not tools to manipulate others. These things can and do happen, they are very real. But too many women use them to gain an upper hand or to make up for personality defects or feeling boring. Our society hates self control and sometimes the things that can help make positive change involve self control. Sleep more, or less. Pray through the intrusive thoughts instead of numbing yourself with social media. Notice what foods or situations make you feel worse mentally and avoid them. Journal. Learn to love and search God’s word. Listen to what your emotions are telling you but ask God to help you not be ruled and governed by them. Your future family will reap the benefits of your labor in this area, and you will be healthier.
Value beauty. Our world says beauty doesn’t matter. It says women who dress well and care about their appearance are under patriarchal oppression. But taking care of ourselves is a gift, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive and bring beauty and softness into the world. This isn’t one size fits all and everyone has a different perspective of what is beautiful, but there is nothing wrong with enjoying inherently feminine things like styling your hair, decorating and enhancing the beauty all around you.
Learn to be a good steward of your finances. Just because you don’t make much money and you weren’t taught, doesn’t mean you have to be a slave to poor choices. Knowing and practicing how to live within your means is going to be a gift to your future, no matter if you marry one day or not. Read about and understand money. Make investments, even if they are small. Learn how to save for something you want. Avoid debt and if you have it, make a plan to pay it off. Buy items that will last you for years, now! You don't need to reserve your purchases to purses and makeup, just because you are single. Buy the high quality sheets, dishes, mixer, sofa, etc. now! You will be ahead, no matter what your future holds.
In a world of silly women, be a wise learner. There is no limit to educating ourselves these days, we have more opportunity than any generation before us. It is a beautiful thing to be educated and passionate about something. Take affordable courses and teach yourself about art, music, language. Study the law or medicine. Read about theology. Understand basic politics and become an educated voter, know what you believe and why. Education doesn’t always equate to college and being curious and consistent is of more value than any degree.
Learn to cook and create a home. Don’t assume that just because you have a bigger house, you will suddenly make it a welcoming home. Making a home requires effort, creativity and discipline. Hospitality doesn’t have to be within your home, you can bring meals to family’s who could use them, help them in times of need and learn how to serve others well.
Practice contentment. Paul talks about contentment in Phillipians. He said he has learned in whatever circumstances to be content. Life is full of painful seasons, how beautiful it is to be prepared for those times. I want to be a source of strength to those around me, not a drain, nag or cause of strife in hard times.
Grow a healthy and respectful relationship with your parents. It’s so common to have issues with your parents, especially with your dad. If your parents are around and your relationship hasn’t been severed by abuse or sin, thank the Lord and foster that gift. If I am blessed with children one day, I hope they show me grace. It’s a touchy subject and more complicated than not but if you are unable to have respectful communication with your dad when you are angry, what makes you think you’ll treat another man any differently?
Be trustworthy with what you’ve been given. Each of us has been given a portion of time, intellect, and resources, and each of us uses them differently. Learning how to multiply good things is an inherently feminine trait, as we find in Proverbs 31. We see that the woman in the scripture took what she had and made wise business moves. She was responsible, resourceful and strong. She made her home plentiful and beautiful. She was hardworking. Gone are the days when women kept the home fires burning while the men fought wars. These days, women seem overwhelmed by the task of homemaking. What if that’s not because it’s harder, but because we no longer find it valuable.
Strive for selflessness. The art of putting others before yourself will take a lifetime to grasp, and will leave no area of life untouched. There will be moments in your life when you have to serve when you feel like being served yourself. When sickness comes to a whole household, joyfully and kindly putting others needs before your own will be of more value than you can imagine. When looking for a spouse, we seek remember what is truly of value. At 3:00 AM when you are ill, when a loved one has died, or you are under financial difficulty, what will matter to you is not their good looks or fancy job. What will matter is his kindness, how hardworking he is, and if he loves the Lord more than you. These character traits aren’t just valuable to women, men need them too.

Instead of holding men to high standards while ignoring our own flaws, we need to look to God to meet our needs. He’s the only one who can satisfy. Having high expectations bathed in grace for both men and women, creates beautiful marriages and beautiful images of God’s love, no matter if you are single or married.